Profile Rejects
I use an online dating site OkCupid.com. I tend to just play with it when I'm bored, however I do take an interest in peoples profiles. There are certain things I've noticed that cause me to instantly navigate away from someones profile.
Bear in mind that when these people wrote these things, their intention is, for the most part, to attract people. Sometimes that might be a little hard to believe.
The Fluff Ball
These people seem to describe themselves as being, well, everything .. and nothing in particular. For example:
I can be lots of different things to lots of different people
Can you be the queen to me? That sounds like a laugh! Or perhaps:
i'm an easy to talk to person and i'm just here for fun really.
i love going out as much as i love to stay in and watch a good film.
I work well with a team as well as on my own. I can use both my left and right hand to open doors. *shake* whoa sorry, I went into crap CV writing mode for a moment there!
Technical Difficulties
Quite why people feel the need to explain their technical problems with the dating site in their summary (the part that is supposed to summarise YOU) - is beyond me.
I did have an account on here, but OKcupid would not let me back on - it did not recognise my password? so I had rejoin again ...
Really, why should I care? If I were interested in your technical difficulties, I'd be reading the support team's email ...
Devil in the Detail
So.....6'3, 34DD, thin and blonde.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't really care about your bra size. Put up a good photo, I'm not a Marks and Spencers worker.
Got dark brown hair (which is currently predominantly dark, dark purple with flashes of blonde and little slices of pink through it
Hail the wonders of the JPEG!
IM VERY OUTGOING AND LIKE TO HAVE FUN.IM 22 YEARS OLD BLUE EYES 6FT 184.LDS.I LIKE FISHING,CAMPING AND HANG OUT WATCHING MOVIES.
Well, not being American I don't know what LDS stands for, but it looks like his weight in pounds (which would be lbs). And if that's the case, he has a suspiciously round body mass index of 25.0, which is exactly on the border of overweight.
Ramblers
Man-da-what? I retreat. Wait. Was that what I really wanted to do? Why am I here, If not in order to fill those tiny little boxes with letters forming words and sentences which describe my inner self? Ahh, right. The tests. Thank you very much. Mmm-kay, just for you so you will know a little about me.
.... :| ....
Hmmm. I do see myself unlike the rest of the world from the inside or from the mirror thus my the image i get from myself might be different from what i really seem to be for other people
Sloth
These quotes are the entire profile. Bear that in mind ...
I like music and stuff. I'm really tired, so I'm going to fill the rest in later!
What was the point of even typing that?!
I'm a little bit like ' Daria ' (that old mtv series). Is that enough now?
oh well - no idea what i'm looking for really.
hi, well what can i say apart from if you want to get to no me then e-mail me on *BEEP* and i will be happy to answer any questions you have got.
Sure, cause making your reader do all the work is a sure way to make them interested. NOT
No S.P.A.G. marks for you ...
Im into scuba diveing, horseback rideing,drawing and writeing.
Well, at least they're consistent. Shame it's consistently WRONG
hiya am XXX am 19, i stay in cumbernauld for thos who dont know where it is its just out side glasgow! am a bubble person got a great sense of humor and basicily up for a laugh! a like to go out with ma girlies, drink now and then and a dont smoke!
A bubble person eh? Well, we'll get to them in a minute.
hi well dnt no wat to say realli, im a bubbly and fun kind of person a lot of my frends say im crazy, but thats just because i will do n e thing 4 a bit of a laugh.
Is this badly spelt or just affected accent?
It should be noted, one of the OkC profile fields is "My favorite books, movies, music, and food"
a)aint got a clu ders quite a few b) erm lots of movies but i do like existenz and if ne1 has actuali herd of that please let me no andi like loads of ova films so yea and c) music i like all types of music so d@s a also a stupid question d) foods everything that's not green
She likes Ova films? Films of ovaries? Or is she referring to OVA Films
H3yy...*Ox M3hh nam3s XXX & i hv3 brown hair (cum on da brun3tt3s...lol!)...& blu3 3y3s...x im a w33 bit short bt m3h st3ll3tos mak3 up 4 d so itz all gud!x lol! Im nt lokin 4 n 3 fing sp3cial lyk jus a nu 4end...h3h3!x i jus signd upt3 dis so il chng3 n updat3 dis...l8r!!x
-| .... 1 R l33ter than j00 grrl. As for the bukkake, well, lets not go there.
i fond my self a chearfull person, with a great sense of humos, because in life things r hard, and u have to take them down with a smile!!!
I LIKE ALL MUSIC I WANT TO BE A DJ SOME DAY IM DOWN TO EARTH I DONT HATE NOR LIKE SPORTS I LOVE TO BE FREE
STOP SHOUTING! And breathe!!.
Also, she's really good at ...
MAKING MIXED CDS A GOOD FRIEND AND I CAN FUCK GOOD
I'm sorry, but that is clearly just a selection of words put in an arbitary order. It's not bad grammar, it's the complete abscence of grammar.
i am a lad that will do anything 4 a freind no matter what it is.i am a person that says what they think so my mate like me 4. i am also a genourus person 2.
i love movie and most of all i love GIRLS i go to college i want to be a radio host. i love sports. the red sox are the bast team ever . i am looking to find someone who loves sports like me
Tiny Violins
Quick, get the mouse string quartet off their fag break, we need some melodrama!
I only like to hang out wiht people who i know love/care about me.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because it was a long distant relationship and she found somebody else. they say the quickest way to get over someone is to just quickly find another "someone".
I am a little bit of a shy guy, but i love to bare my mind to what makes my heart sweet.love is a beautiful treasure to have, but when shared.Romantic.Yes i am romantic, alot
In the first sentance of their summary (and pretty much the only thing you can see on the search page!):
Well.. lets see.. I am looking for a guy who knows how to treat a woman. I don't want or need a PLAYER... I am sick of being played.
Aww but I wanted to be PLAYER 2.
Detergent girls
Is there something intrinsically female about washing up? Is that why so many people describe their personality in the same way you'd describe Fairy Liquid?
I am a bubbly and generally happy go lucky kinda girl ...
... you want to chat to someone who's bubbly ...
... I'm HOT Im BUBBLY and Im really SWEET ...
... Im aloud n bubbly person all the time
I'm a bubbly fun girl just looking to meet new people ...
Well i would say im quite a bubbly, outgoing person
Arrrghhh!!! The bubbles, they're drowning meee!!!
It's almost as bad as ...
Layabout Men
Easy going and Laid Back. In my mind, that means, more or less, lazy. Easy going - so they don't bother putting up a fight about anything - and laid back - so they don't bother getting into any thing.
Where is that passion in THAT?
Easy going laid back guy love watching tv and reading about new thngs.
I'm a mellow, laidback guy that enjoys all of life's aspects.
For example, he particularly enjoys all of the aspects which involve a sofa, or a bed. They're pretty good aspects, in his books
I'm a laid-back guy that likes to hang out and have fun.
Fun eh?
Im a laid back friendly guy who loves to have all kinds of fun
ALL kinds of fun? Jeez - these slackers sure do have a lifestyle. Who knows, they might even get to earn some money between all that TV and lazing around nonchelantly.
Alcoholics
Seriously, wtf is going on? How would the idea of you ruthlessly killing your liver be at all attractive?
love gettin pissed, clubbin, and spending time with my mates... i love gettin paralettic with my mates.
... good for you. Just don't puke on my shoes while I'm walking down the high street.
Soccer Moms
RUN AWAY!!!
I love being a mom.
RANDOM!
I think the idea is to be memorable. Hmmm
Well, for starters... I'm a llama! Okay, I lied.
Someone who'll watch reruns of House, write letters, chase the geese at the park, drink tea, and love my...oops, my beta fish died.
I have a camera permanently attached to my face.
I'm Sam. I am full of magazines
And finally - The Truth is Out There!
I do not respond to obvious 'cut and paste' articles about your life and what you are looking for. Keep trying though, you're bound to find someone dense enough to buy it.
Accounts like this are the result of avoiding finals.